Once upon a time there was a woman, a career woman…
Then, with the birth of a child, a mother was also born. She realised how wonderful it is to become a mother but after 3-6-9 months of maternity it is now time to go back to work…
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” and so in you the child your mother lives on and through your family continues to live… so at this time look after yourself and your family as you would your mother for through you all she will truly never die.Osho
A difficult period for us mothers begins from a psychological and organizational point of view.
The feelings of guilt, both on the family front (I spend little time with my son, when I return home I am tired and I can not do anything, etc. ), both on the working front (I don’t work enough, I’m not very concentrated, I have to ask for permission to manage unexpected events concerning the child, etc.) are the most frequent emotions. And then performance anxiety, a sense of disorientation, low self-esteem, inadequacy …
Quiet! We have been through almost all of them and… we survived by luck!
We can count on our “toolbox” to bring out our ability to adapt and face this period in a strategic and peaceful way.
Here are some small tips for you, new mother, to better manage your motherhood and at the same time as a career woman to live this splendid passage of life with serenity.
1. First, remember that your child, during early days of childhood, will bring out his adaptability and will establish new positive relationships during your absence. Hugging the child after work will satisfy and will have a beneficial effect: it will reduce anxiety and stress to make room for a good mood.
2. Choose carefully who to entrust the child to. Many of our guilty feelings arise from entrusting our child to someone else, therefore the choice must be made in time and well thought out. Whether you choose a nursery, grandparents or a nanny, it doesn’t matter; it is important instead to be sure of the decision made and not to have anxiety and worry.
3. Ask for support. In order not to fall into the trap of “mental overload” when going back to work after maternity, the only sensible thing you can do is to ask for some help , in all forms and by all those who can: grandparents, fathers, babysitter. You must not be afraid to ask for help from people close to you for everything you cannot do: you will be more serene thinking that you can count on someone’s help in moments when you are in trouble.
4. Agree to delegate. This is valid if you have to go back to work after your second child’s motherhood. Here, stop thinking about doing everything on your own, you must ask for help , even from the eldest son, for example, to keep the bedroom in order.
The challenge is to become more flexible especially towards yourself. Learn to accept that things can also be done afterwards or even by others, perhaps do them in a different way from how you would have done you, but that’s okay. If you can, ak for help with housework, even once a week or once every fortnight. If your child needs help with homework, have a homework assistant follow up.
5. Calm and positivity are the keywords. It will take some time to be snappy at work, and it is
normal to have low initial concentration and feel awkward. Set yourself small daily goals, always remain positive and optimistic as you are regaining possession of your role and your own space.
6. Start doing little things by yourself. Before putting on the clothes as a career woman again, Get used to spending some time without our baby, even for a short time initially, and then gradually increasing day by day. In this way, you and your child prepare yourselves for the posting.
7. Abandon perfection. Avoid behaving like Wonder Woman and wanting to be present in any
situation and at the top of your physical and mental energy. Perfection does not exist, chasing it makes no sense: accept yourself with your human imperfections which makes you a unique person.
8. Enjoy all the new skills. Going back to work with new skills gained during the maternity period like: multitasking, time management, problem solving, organization and strategic planning will help you in managing your work.
In summary, therefore, going back to work peacefully, you need to take a deep breath, realize that things have changed. Be patient to reshape yourself to this new, beautiful and challenging life.
Organize yourself well with “to-do lists” where the priorities are clear. Share your issues and
concerns with your family and ask some advice from them.
In moments of discouragement, always keep in mind that it is not the time we spend with our children that makes the difference, but the quality: however, when you come home, even if tired, do not neglect an exclusive dedicated space only to your little one, full of pampering, reassurance, games and complicity.